The most resilient people have the habit of living in the here and now, the present, without the guilt of yesterday or the uncertainty of the future clouding the moment they are experiencing. They enjoy the little details and do not lose their ability to marvel at life; in this way, it is easier to focus on the positive aspects that any situation offers us, complicated or not.
The present awareness can be complicated with the contemporary rhythms of life, but there are ways to train this awareness of the present moment, such as mindfulness.- Flexibility combined with perseverance The existence of a meaningful purpose in life is another characteristic of a resilient person. This goal gives you the inner strength to take responsibility for pursuing it flexibly and without stubbornness.
The fact that resilient people are flexible does not imply that they renounce their goals; on the contrary, if something distinguishes them is their ability to fight, but when it ceases to have a meaning, they can change course without feeling bad for having abandoned its initial goal.
The ability to listen is precious. The people around us may have information that complements their own and, on occasion, can serve as a guide for our goals or projects. We always grow about others; social isolation favors our thinking to lose flexibility and breadth of perspective.
It is essential to learn to make wishes come true: willpower and emotional self-control. - Sociability in resilient people Resilient people know how to cultivate and value their friendships. They generally surround themselves with people who maintain a positive attitude towards life. In this way, they create a solid support network that can sustain them in the most challenging moments.
When they go through a potentially traumatic event, their first goal is to get over it; They are aware of the importance of social support and do not hesitate to seek professional help when they need it. - Tolerance of frustration and uncertainty One of the primary sources of tension and stress is the desire to control all aspects of our lives because we tend to tolerate uncertainty poorly. One way to gain confidence in ourselves and live with less emotional tension is by learning to deal with uncertainty so that it causes us the least possible discomfort.
Testing our resilience: grief and loss
Resilience, grief, and sadness
Throughout life, we can be exposed to repeated events or situations of loss: unexpected death of a loved one, mental or physical abuse or abuse, loss of health, failure in different areas, natural disasters, poverty, role changes within the family, or even in vital stages in which aging causes us to lose capacities or a certain social status …
Each of these situations is an opportunity to continue growing, generate a change in our lives, improve acceptance and not remain unmotivated or powerless in the face of these changes.
Resilient people know that these moments of crisis will not last forever and that their future will depend on how they react.
When they face adversity or need to overcome the sadness of a loss and go through emotional grief, resilient people ask themselves: what can I learn from this?We propose techniques to know how to face adversity constructively, adapt with flexibility, and achieve more incredible strengths.
Self-observation + Self-knowledge + Dedicate yourself time
Knowing ourselves better and strengthening our qualities allow us a positive adaptation to change.
Take care of how you talk to yourself, what you say to yourself. Trust in your abilities
Talk to yourself with affection, with respect. Be flexible with yourself or tolerate your moments of discomfort without blaming yourself for feeling them. Allow yourself to feel. Balance your resources without falling into self-demand or perfectionism, respecting your rhythms, without being carried away by pressure, reminding you of your capabilities.
Humor and smile in the face of difficulties
It encourages pleasant emotions, pleasant, relaxed, fun moments. They will help you disconnect, release tension and gain strength. It encourages illusions, motivations, and hope.
Seeks learning, a positive approach to adversity
Difficulty can be an opportunity to learn and train your abilities. Don’t focus on the problem and the complaint. Go in search of solutions. Learn from experience.
“Adversity has the gift to awaken talents that in prosperity would have remained dormant. Horatio
Emotional Health + Emotional Balance
Identify, analyze and regulate what you feel.
Everything is emotion; you are emotion; emotions guide your decisions, motivations, and illusions. Learn to identify them, regulate them, tolerate them, accept them, rationalize them, and decide how you want to live, promoting your well-being and serenity.
Share emotions. Encourages expressiveness
Resilient people release their emotions in adverse situations, express what they feel and think, and do so without causing harm to other people. This helps them release built-up tension. It is brilliant to let yourself be helped and ask for help when you need it.
Social contact
Choose who you want to live with, who you want to be with you, with whom you want to grow, learn and share your time. Eliminate shoulds, obligations, and self-imposed pressures. Social contact makes you have a more open mind, more flexible, more tolerant of circumstances.
- Set limits to control. Tolerate uncertainty
It is normal to want to have certainties, certainties, the security, and tranquility of knowing what will happen, but it is not possible; it is not possible to have everything under control.
Take care of yourself, improve your physical health
examples of resilience
Resilience is a very human capacity; you have to remember some difficult moments that you have overcome in your life to realize your capacity for transformation.
Unrequited love. This is one of the situations that, on a sentimental level, forces the protagonist to overcome this breaking of expectations through a necessary duel to forget that person.
Victor Frankl, the author of the book "Man's Search for Meaning" and founder of Logotherapy, is a clear example of resilience through his testimony about life in a concentration camp.
It is overcoming the illness or death of a loved one. Even though we do not value it consciously in so many moments, health is one of the essential pillars of well-being. Therefore, those health obstacles represent a fundamental test of resilience.
It is overcoming a process of change. For example, a divorce that breaks with the predictable routine is visualized up to that moment.
A job dismissal at age 50, when the age factor acquires a limiting significance in some market niches.