Separate from your fears
When fear appears, please don’t ignore it, don’t block it, don’t distract it, pretending it doesn’t exist, no, detach yourself from it!
You must understand that we are not what we think and that when we think something, it does not mean that it will happen. Or is it that perhaps it is finally your turn because you think that you are going to win the lottery? No, we are mere observers of our thoughts.
Our mind loves to bombard us with negative thoughts, and your task is to stop identifying with them; in this way, they will lose all their power.
How can we practice self-esteem?
When fear invades you:
Don't block the thought that causes that fear. Give it space and feel it. Familiarize yourself with your fear. Give it a name and imagine what its physical form would be like (if you draw it even better). Use the mindfulness technique to make it flow and go. You can imagine a spring of water that drags some leaves. Visualize your fear on top of a leaf as the river carries it away and slowly disappears. At first, you will need practice, but with time you will get it.
Forgive yourself, practice self-compassion
It is essential to learn to forgive ourselves for our mistakes; as we say in psychology, practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion is closely related to self-concept (one of the four elements that make up self-esteem) and consists of treating yourself with the same empathy you would treat your best friend. That is, being supportive and understanding of yourself, rather than constantly criticizing and judging yourself. It involves learning to calm down and comfort yourself to try again, rather than punishing yourself every time you make a mistake.
There are many exercises and activities to develop self-compassion, but the simplest is to talk to yourself in the same way you would talk to a friend who is having a hard time. In this way, you will begin to see your problems as something you are experiencing and not as something that defines you.
Would you yell out to a friend who is useless or unable to do anything right? Surely not, right?
Then put the batteries, and every time you find yourself punishing yourself, replace your critical voice with compassionate phrases. Your self-esteem will appreciate it.
Get your chest out! Boost your confidence with power poses
Did you know that your non-verbal body language influences your mood? Well, yes, and a lot. In this way, when you feel down, you express it (often without even realizing it) by shrinking your body, making you feel even more depressed.
To improve this, try using an upright, expansive posture when you find yourself sad or down. These types of poses (head elevated, shoulders back, and hands resting on the hips) are called power poses, and it has been shown that holding them for just two minutes is enough to boost your confidence, feel better and feel better about yourself. Same.
These postures can increase testosterone levels by 20% and decrease cortisol (the stress and anxiety hormone) by 25%. In short, you will have managed to raise your self-esteem and earn several points in your well-being.
Perfectionism can be the result of low self-esteem. It is an attempt to show ourselves and others that we are capable and worthy of being valued and appreciated, but at the same time, it is one of the main obstacles to increasing our self-esteem.
Perfectionism is related to:
The need to have the approval of others and ourselves. The fear of rejection. A self-critical attitude, very negative. There is extremist thinking, where there is only all or nothing, good or bad, and we do not see intermediate points. The wrong perception of ourselves and reality, believing that it is possible that everything a person does, always turns out well. "In the person, there are more things worthy of admiration than contempt." (Albert Camus)
Impulsivity or impulsive behavior is a defense mechanism that prevents the person from stopping to reflect on the aspects and motivations of her behavior and, therefore, on the emotions that it generates.
An example of impulsive behavior may be the act of leaving a relationship out of fear of abandonment, compulsive shopping, or addictions. The impulsive individual does not stop to feel or think; he is only reactive to avoid acknowledging what is happening.
Eliminate negative criticism of yourself. The main responsible for low self-esteem is the inner voice with which we say things like: You will never do well; they are better than you; I can't like that person ... Play sports and take care of yourself physically; this will release endorphins. Physical appearance influences our self-esteem; with a good form, you will look better, and your self-esteem will rise. Socialize with positive people; these people serve as emotional support; they help you, they have fun, and you learn from them. Make a list of your achievements; you will remember that you can achieve what you set out to do with this list. Don't be a perfectionist anymore. Just push yourself. Taking care of your body language, smiling, and improving your posture will make you feel happier and have higher self-esteem. Do not compare yourself; you are a unique person; just focus on yourself and your life. Accept and forgive yourself; think about the good things that the day has brought you.
There is a lot of talk about self-esteem as loving oneself, as “self-love,”… but what else is self-esteem? The truth is that it is a core aspect of identity and well-being that allows us to build a healthy relationship with ourselves and with others.
And it is that self-esteem is at the base of many of the things we build daily: our studies, work, relationships … Do you think that there is only one type of self-esteem, or that it, on the other hand, can be fragmented/divided?
The truth is that there are different types of self-esteem. In Diario Femenino, we will know what self-esteem is and how it can vary according to its degree of stability and positivity/negativity (valence) and the facet of life that it permeates (work, social, personal life, etc.). In addition, we will also talk about the causes and consequences of having low self-esteem, the symptoms that are experienced, and the treatment or remedies to increase it to optimal levels. Pay a lot of attention!