Against this destructive dynamic, here are some starting points to improve your levels of self-confidence and self-esteem and make your image of yourself work in your favor.
Coldly consider your options
Distancing yourself from your person and analyzing the things you do as an external observer will help you recognize those situations and habits in which you self-sabotage yourself. If you have had low self-esteem for a long time, you have likely entered a vicious cycle of anxiety and poor self-image from which it is difficult to get out without trying. Therefore, taking a third-person point of view will help you see this vicious cycle in total, and it will be easier to take action on the matter.
How to do this? Very easy. When you notice that something creates anguish and undermines your self-confidence, stop and think about the different options with which you can face this situation and choose the one that you think will benefit you in the medium or long term. The key: overcome the tendency to stay in your bubble.
Make sure that your conception of what is “best” in the long term is not influenced by your desire to choose a comfortable solution. If you want to do things differently than you usually do, you will have to get out of your comfort zone. For example, suppose you think one of your academic papers has received a lower score than expected. In that case, the easiest option may be to do nothing, but if you go to the correction review so that the person who has corrected it you Explain where you have failed, you are likely to learn things, although facing your mistakes can be somewhat uncomfortable.
Do the same with your negative habits
This distanced point of view should not only act when considering your possibilities of action but also as a method to detect those thoughts that undermine your levels of self-confidence. Having a good image of yourself is not about having an objective image of yourself (that would be impossible, with the number of things you know about yourself), but about having a helpful self-image.
What makes the difference when it comes to building a positive self-image is selective attention. When you do not have terrific regard for yourself, all that information about you and your actions comes to you having passed through a filter that makes you see everything in a pessimistic key. In this way, you will have a propensity to pay close attention to things that go wrong, while your merits will go unnoticed. Since this bias is going to be there whatever you do, could you take advantage of it? Detecting unfair thoughts about yourself and recognizing them as such will help you downplay them.
Changing your thoughts to play in your favor
As you see the amount of unrealistic negative thoughts about yourself, you will be more aware of your ability to actively participate in building adequate levels of self-confidence because you will realize that what you knew about yourself was skewed by your mood. You can also turn the situation around by fighting back with positive thoughts and paying more attention to what speaks well about you. This will not only change your perception of your personality, but it will also cause you to act differently, and, as a final effect, it will improve your levels of self-confidence.
No matter how low confidence they have in themselves, any person can replace that image that they have with a more beneficial one. To do this, you need to be willing to get involved in self-awareness. Begin to give value to your tastes, expectations, motivations, dreams, and illusions.
Knowing yourself in all aspects will provide you with a unique vision of yourself. Where you will see that you are not just another person, you are a unique being … You have a personality, talents, and experiences that no one else has. If you can value that treasure that is you, then you can begin to make the most of it, polish yourself, and develop yourself.
To build your self-confidence, you have to know that you have to stop comparing yourself to others. You have to improve yourself; each person has a rhythm and motivations, so you must focus specifically on how you can progress concerning yourself. See what you are building within your possibilities, and become the best person you are capable of being. This, as you will see, has nothing to do with what others do or do not do … Self-confidence: what it is and how to work it
Begin to focus on accomplishing all that you can do, taking small steps that move you forward. Be grateful for what you have and the opportunity that life has given you in each experience to develop and acquire new learning. Of course, you are imperfect; we all are; you make mistakes, and you will fall again and again. All of this is part of the process. Any misfortune and adversity will be one more test for you to strengthen your confidence in yourself.
When you are able within yourself to understand this, acknowledge it, and accept it, then a world of possibilities will open up before you. You will give way to acceptance and you will know that you deserve all the good that happens to you. By believing in yourself, you will no longer see other people as rivals, nor will you see the world as a hostile place in which to try to survive at all costs. You will increase your ability to see the world and people, thanks to the fact that you will feel at peace with yourself.