Do it; try it even if you can fail.
The human being tends to avoid and not face what he fears and causes fear; this is the simplest, fastest, and easiest way out in the short term since it eliminates the anxiety that the situation causes.
Well, now it is known that the main enemy of our low self-esteem is simply doing nothing. And it has been proven that self-esteem does not depend on the result of your actions. It simply depends on your action. In this way, self-esteem increases when you face circumstances and decreases when you avoid them. As simple as that.
Replace your goals with values
Sometimes not achieving very set and desired goals can lead to frustrations and feeling worthless; this does not happen when values and not objectives mark our direction in life.
Let’s see it with a concrete example: imagine that you are preparing for an opposition, you have spent months and months studying and making fewer leisure plans; In this case, your values are effort, perseverance, personal improvement, the capacity for sacrifice, willpower and responsibility, among others.
If you finally do not pass the exam and you do not get the place, the values you have maintained during this stage of your life will always be there to feel very proud of it. So as the saying goes: “the important thing is not to win, but to participate.”
Identify your strengths
Today we know that every one of us is born with a series of qualities, innate characteristics or strengths that are our strengths, they are those skills that are especially good for you, the problem comes when the person with low self-esteem does not believe that he has them and it is also complicated for him to identify them.
the self
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem corresponds to the positive or negative assessment that one makes of himself.
It is the predisposition to know that you are fit for life and satisfy your own needs, feeling competent to face the challenges that appear and deserve happiness.
Two fundamental aspects define self-esteem:
Sense of personal efficacy "self-efficacy": confidence in the functioning of the mind is the ability to think about the processes by which it is judged, chosen, and decided. Confidence in the ability to understand the facts of reality that fall within the field of interests and needs, and in being able to know oneself (Orduña, 2003).In short, it is the predisposition to experience oneself competent to face the challenges of life; consequently, confidence in one’s mind and its processes.
Sense of personal merit or self-dignity: it is the security of one's worth, an affirmative attitude towards the right to live and be happy. Comfort inappropriately expressing thoughts wants, and needs; feel that joy is the natural right.Therefore, it is the tendency to feel worthy of success and happiness; consequently, the perception of oneself as a person for whom success, respect, friendship, and love are appropriate.
Self-efficacy and self-dignity are the fundamental characteristics of self-esteem; the lack of any of them deteriorates it.
Self-concept is the set of elements that a person uses to describe himself.
This is formed by the image we have of ourselves and the information we receive from others about our personality, and it is a set of representations and judgments referring to oneself in different aspects: bodily, psychic, behavioral, and social (Rojas, 2017). Self-concept leads to self-knowledge; This presupposes knowing our capacities and limitations; we can get to know ourselves almost wholly, although new unknown facets will always emerge.
"If you love yourself, you love everyone else as yourself." (Eckhart)Self-image can be a consequence and also the cause of many psychological disorders.
Self-image goes beyond physical appearance, as it includes both what you feel and thinks about yourself and the attitudes and things you do. This is formed throughout life and depends mainly on the relationships you have had since childhood with the important people who have been in your life, thus forming your impressions and attitudes towards you and doing what is around you.
Importance of self-esteem
Self-esteem is a vital human need; it is basic and makes an essential contribution to the process of life, playing a vital role in the choices and decisions that shape it. Self-esteem is essential for normal and healthy development; it has survival value, it represents an individual achievement, the product of a persevering work of internal knowledge.
A time has come when Self-esteem is no longer only a critical psychological need, but it has also become an economic need of the same importance, an attribute to adapt to an increasingly complex, competitive, and challenging world. A human being cannot hope to fulfill his full potential without healthy self-esteem.
b) Theoretical bases
William James
The first attempt to define self-esteem is found in Principles of Psychology (1980) by the father of American psychology, William James. Self-esteem gained strength in the eighties with the publication of this book, and scientific studies began to appear: numerous psycho-pedagogical investigations on self-esteem highlight its decisive importance for the full development of the dynamic potential of the person; having positive self-esteem is the fundamental requirement for a fulfilling life.
Each person has an essentially biological-based inner nature that is natural, intrinsic, innate, and immutable. It is advisable to bring this inner nature to light.
Abraham Maslow
For Maslow, promoter of humanistic psychology, self-esteem is a theory about self-realization. Stating that each possesses an inner nature, Maslow mentions human needs (life, immunity, security, belonging, affection, respect, self-esteem, and self-realization).
Carl Rogers
Carl Rogers, the founder of humanistic psychology, stated that the root of many people’s problems is that they despise themselves and consider themselves worthless and unlovable. Rogers understands that everyone has a positive, unique, and good self; but, that true self often remains hidden and masked, unable to develop.
The most desirable goal for the individual, he unconsciously pursues, is to become himself.
Each person possesses an essentially biological-based inner nature that is to some extent natural, intrinsic, innate, and in some sense unchanging, and it is far more convenient to bring it out and cultivate than to inhibit and stifle it. If allowed to act as the guiding principle in life, the development will be healthy.